Coffee Hour

[Haruo]

In his travelogue thread in the CBF Forum, Ed Pettibone wrote:

This morning we went back into Oregon and worshiped at Ceder Hills Baptist Church. Cedar Hills is a beautiful Suburb of Portland The Pastor is REV Christine Roush. came to this area from Upstale NY where she worked in the ABCNYS camping program for several years. She left NY shortly before we got there. CHBC which is ABC/USA, has a nice church plant with a sanctuary that seats around 150 with space for perhaps 40 more Also a nice Educational building. They have plenty of parking and additional landscaped area, part of which is used for "community garden plots" used by nearby apartment dwellers. Maybe 60-65 present this morning some where out of town in all directions for Graduation events at some of the many Colleges and Universities. The college aged regulars had already headed to Downtown Portland with food to distribute the homeless. Music was contemporary.
Ages where probably from 45 to 90 with a majority between 55 an 70. The only draw back for us is that it is 23 miles from here,and a surprising volume of traffic for a Sunday Morning. From observing license plates I would guess 90% where from either Portland or Vancouver
The most unique thing was that they hosted "a coffee hour" after church, and probably 45 stayed to have snacks and chat for an hour or so.

To which I replied,

...what is unique about coffee hour? I don't think I've ever attended a church on an ongoing basis that didn't host coffee hour after church.

To which Ed replied,

I have also attended after church coffee hours but in most cases they where to celebrate some ones 100th birth day or a couples 25 wedding anniversary or some other event honoring members of the congregation. As I understand what we experienced at Ceder Hill is standard procedure just because this family of God enjoy being together.

In response whereto, I expatiated:

The church I grew up in had coffee hour every week after the Sunday service. So did Mrs. H's starter church, where I went as a teenager. So did Friends Memorial Church and even the Church of Religious Science, both of which I attended during my "AA discernment phase" (a term I just made up), and so do Fremont Baptist (where I'm a member now), and Japanese Baptist (though perhaps the tea is a bit more prominent than the coffee) where Mrs. H is a member and where I most frequently attend. So does St. Paul's Episcopal, where I go when I have to work Sundays. So did the vast majority of the 48 churches I attended in 2011. Maybe it's a regional culture thing? I don't know. I find the idea of a church without coffee hour if not a full-blown potluck like we used to do at the Fremont evening service when there was one rather uninviting. When and how do the members get to know each other without it? Of course if you have big anniversary or birthday celebration, that means the coffee hour will have more and fancier cake. And day before yesterday JBC dispensed with the coffee hour in order to have their Music Ministry Appreciation Luncheon, which only music ministry folks and spouses were invited to. Not sure if others had coffee elsewhere in the building, but we had the gymnasium to ourselves. But that was an atypical Sunday.

And Ed came back with

I think you have hit it with " Maybe it's a regional culture thing?". In 60 plus years of attending churches of a dozen denominations though predominantly Baptist (ABC,SBC,CBF,INDEPENDENT, GARB) most East of the Mississippi, although I have, even before the current trip visited churches in Texas, Missouri, and Oregon in addition I was a member of a church in Arkansas. And for me Ceder Hills practice of regularly having a coffee with most of the attendees of the day staying around aparently just for the fellowship, was unique .

This might make for an interesting discussion on the more general Baptist Faith and Practice board.

Hence this thread. So what say ye all, brethren? Have ye Coffee Hour, Social Hour, Coffee Fellowship, or something along those lines in your churches? If not, have you ever experienced it, or would you call it a "unique" feature if you attended a service where it followed?

And Mrs Haruo wrote a further comment on the subject after Ed suggested moving it here, to which he has now replied...

[Lou]

In most every church I've ever attended, there was no apres-service coffee/fellowship hour. Rather, the scene at the close of the worship service more closely resembled something like this...

[Tim Bonney]

United Methodists are big time into coffee hours. We have coffee both before and after the morning service. Methodists joke it is the third sacrament.

[Haruo]

In most every church I've ever attended, there was no apres-service coffee/fellowship hour. Rather, the scene at the close of the worship service more closely resembled something like this...

Where were these churches, geographically and denominationally? At Fremont we have a monthly get-together attended by maybe half a dozen people at a restaurant somewhere in North Seattle (venue changes each time and is announced in the bulletin in advance). But it is on a weekday.

Now, a coffee hour that has just coffee is not worth attending. Fremont normally has some chips, dip, fruit, cookies, etc. Minimalistic but you won't starve during attendance. Japanese Baptist is more varied and lavish. St. Paul's usually falls somewhere in between (and is staunchly anti-nuts). The most incredible one I ever attended was at Finnish Lutheran, but I only attended Sunday morning service there once, the time I spat port all over the priest; they had lots of cakes and a wide variety of little Finnish open-faced sandwiches and stuff. But having only been there once I couldn't say if it was usually that fancy.

[Haruo]

At Friends Memorial Church, being Quaker, they didn't do "communion" or "the Eucharist" or "the Lord's Supper", but they did recite the "as often as ye eat thus together, remember me" passage at coffee hour and saw it as fulfilling the ordinance (which they didn't call it).

[Rvaughn]

So what say ye all, brethren? Have ye Coffee Hour, Social Hour, Coffee Fellowship, or something along those lines in your churches? If not, have you ever experienced it, or would you call it a "unique" feature if you attended a service where it followed?

I have not heard the term Coffee Hour, neither have I experienced it in any churches I have been associated with. Some places we go (but not our church) have a regular meal after morning worship, sometimes once a month and in a few every Sunday. Any coffee fellowship I've experienced has been in homes. My main church experiences are in East Texas, but have attended churches in Oklahoma, Louisiana, Arkansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia and Florida. Something maybe more like this occurs after night services -- such as after fellowship meeting or revivals. In some cases it is still a full meal, but at other times light snacks or maybe even homemade ice cream.

[Dave Roberts]

I was a member of a church once that had worship at 10:15 for the sole purpose of beating the Methodists to the local cafeteria.

[Haruo]

I was a member of a church once that had worship at 10:15 for the sole purpose of beating the Methodists to the local cafeteria.

I assume the local cafeteria only hired non-Christian cooks and waitstaff, so as not to force Christians to skip church to feed their kids? I am sort of kidding, but seriously, I wonder how folks manage to feel good about keeping people away from church, indeed, paying them not to attend.

[Lou]

In most every church I've ever attended, there was no apres-service coffee/fellowship hour. Rather, the scene at the close of the worship service more closely resembled something like this...

Where were these churches, geographically and denominationally? At Fremont we have a monthly get-together attended by maybe half a dozen people at a restaurant somewhere in North Seattle (venue changes each time and is announced in the bulletin in advance). But it is on a weekday.

All those churches were in Texas geographically, and all (Southern) Baptist denominationally. I would add that there have usually been in each of those churches less-formal post-worship opportunities for food and fellowship where groups of friends, Sunday School class members, etc. would regularly meet at a local restaurant or a member's home for the noon meal. Guests at the service would be personally invited to come and join in those meals to get to know members better. The church I pastor has a line item in the budget for me to pay for post-worship restaurant meals of guests who accept the invitation.

[JE Pettibone]

I was a member of a church once that had worship at 10:15 for the sole purpose of beating the Methodists to the local cafeteria.

I assume the local cafeteria only hired non-Christian cooks and waitstaff, so as not to force Christians to skip church to feed their kids? I am sort of kidding, but seriously, I wonder how folks manage to feel good about keeping people away from church, indeed, paying them not to attend.

Ed: I am with you Hauro. And I have to confess, we eat out on Sundays too often, simply because it is convenient. However when I discover a restaurant that closes on Sunday I put it on my must try list for mid week.

[Lou]

I was a member of a church once that had worship at 10:15 for the sole purpose of beating the Methodists to the local cafeteria.

I assume the local cafeteria only hired non-Christian cooks and waitstaff, so as not to force Christians to skip church to feed their kids? I am sort of kidding, but seriously, I wonder how folks manage to feel good about keeping people away from church, indeed, paying them not to attend.

Ed: I am with you Hauro. And I have to confess, we eat out on Sundays too often, simply because it is convenient. However when I discover a restaurant that closes on Sunday I put it on my must try list for mid week.

Just as an aside (but still somewhat germane to the topic), I'm told that Sundays are restaurant workers' LEAST favorite day to work, because the after-church crowd has the reputation for being rather rude and demanding, and poor tippers as well. A few years ago my wife and I stopped by a local fast-food place for a quick lunch after Sunday worship, and we were in line behind a well-dressed man with his family, all of whom were in their Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes. The man was verbally reaming the poor teenage girl who served their food because part of the order was wrong. I interrupted his tirade and told him, "Sir, I don't know where you went to church this morning, but it doesn't seem to have done you much good." He said something about how Christians are supposed to be strong and courageous, and not afraid to speak out when the situation called for it. I replied, "There is nothing courageous about being a bully."

I don't know why people don't like me...

[Haruo]

Just as an aside (but still somewhat germane to the topic), I'm told that Sundays are restaurant workers' LEAST favorite day to work, because the after-church crowd has the reputation for being rather rude and demanding, and poor tippers as well. A few years ago my wife and I stopped by a local fast-food place for a quick lunch after Sunday worship, and we were in line behind a well-dressed man with his family, all of whom were in their Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes. The man was verbally reaming the poor teenage girl who served their food because part of the order was wrong. I interrupted his tirade and told him, "Sir, I don't know where you went to church this morning, but it doesn't seem to have done you much good." He said something about how Christians are supposed to be strong and courageous, and not afraid to speak out when the situation called for it. I replied, "There is nothing courageous about being a bully."

I don't know why people don't like me...

Some people do.

[KeithE]

I think coffee hour (or half hour) is a great time. I miss that time of mixing (I don’t drink coffee but there were donuts as well).

My current church does serve coffee but there is no explicit time for mixing before SS, or between SS and church (which we only have 10 minutes) or after church. That is a shame.

This has led to a certain cliqueness where sets of people who eat out together wait at a designated spot for all to congregate and decide where to eat. We have a group of 6 couples. I try to change that in our group by asking other couples to join when we are light, but it has only stuck a couple of times.

[KeithE]

I was a member of a church once that had worship at 10:15 for the sole purpose of beating the Methodists to the local cafeteria.

Our church starts at 10:10. I’ve heard two reasons, one to beat other churches to the restaurants and the other was to get home in time for the NFL’s first game.

[Tim Bonney]

Apparently the coffee time at my new church is called HeBrews.

[Sandy]

Apparently the coffee time at my new church is called HeBrews.

There was a Christian coffee house in Houston called Holy Grounds. One of our small groups met there on Saturday nights when they had a live band.

I've been going to an unprogrammed Quaker meeting for a while now, and the "coffee hour" includes a light lunch after the meeting. Usually everyone stays. There's no activity prior to the meeting to allow for contemplation and preparation. The fellowship and conversation are always good, and it's Starbucks, courtesy of one of their managers who attends.

[Tim Bonney]

Apparently the coffee time at my new church is called HeBrews.

There was a Christian coffee house in Houston called Holy Grounds. One of our small groups met there on Saturday nights when they had a live band.

The church I'm moving to in Indianola, like my current church, is close to a United Methodist college. First UMC is just a couple of blocks from Simpson College and they also have a coffee shop on campus named "Holy Grounds." I've heard they have the best coffee in town. I'll look forward to doing some hanging out there.

[Mrs Haruo]

"This has led to a certain cliqueness where sets of people who eat out together wait at a designated spot for all to congregate and decide where to eat. We have a group of 6 couples. I try to change that in our group by asking other couples to join when we are light, but it has only stuck a couple of times."

Thats the kind of behavior that has left me lonely and broken hearted a couple times when I was single and trying to get back on my feet again after a painful divorce. Alone in a new town, with a new job that paid just enough for me to get a cheap apartment and a few items from the dollar store to make it look more like "home", I was hoping to find a new church home and make some new friends like I had at my last church a couple states away. I opened up my new phone book and found a church just a couple blocks away in a denomination I was familiar with and walked over there one Sunday. People seemed pleasant enough, the music was uplifting, the sermon was interesting, with the pastor telling a few jokes on himself to illustrate the topic and I was starting to feel right at home. Then the benediction and a few "I hope you come back next week" remarks---- the next thing I knew everyone had raced out of the parking lot with me alone in a cloud of dust and gravel. There are a lot of people who are hungry for a lot more than a piece of Sister Whistlestop's chocolate cake and a cup of coffee, its knowing that there are people who care about you and getting to know other people's triumphs and troubles are an important part of keeping a church strong and a "Fellowship Hour" is building relationships between people.

[Haruo]

Amen to what my wife said.

[Tim Bonney]

Well said Mrs. Haruo!

[Sandy]

Agreed. Churches can sometimes be the most cliquish and exclusive places.

[Dave Roberts]

There must be intentionality to the welcome a church gives. Too many people have been swallowed or ignored by the cliques.

[Shawn Koester]

At Church of the Chimes (Disciples of Christ) in Fontana, CA, we have fellowship after every service. Every 5th Sunday we go out full Baptist style and do potlucks and it ties in to the old joke that you might be Baptist if you're expected to bring a covered dish to heaven. We offer a variety of drinks ranging from coffee to lemonade. Our offerings are a nice mixture of Chinese food meets pasta, fruit and of course the familiar favorites of cakes, cookies, and all things sinfully decadent.