by Sandy » Fri Aug 05, 2011 9:23 pm
As an ordained minister, you are not obligated to perform weddings if you choose not to do so.
Not having ever served as a senior pastor, I haven't performed a whole lot of weddings. The first one I ever performed was my sister's wedding, and then the same year, I performed a wedding for her best friend. Normally, when I've been asked, its because I've been the remaining staff member at a church that lost its pastor. I guess I've done about 15 weddings over the course of the last 30 years.
I do have a counseling requirement, and I would consider each request on a case by case basis. At my last church, when our pastor resigned, I was the only full time staff member who remained, and I was there for three years before the next pastor was called. We got a lot of requests for weddings because our facility was very traditional in its appearance, and all couples requesting to use the facility were required to set up a counseling appointment with the pastor. During that three year period, I met with two dozen couples who were planning a wedding in our church building. Though I only performed one ceremony myself, I met with all of the others. Most of them did not have a church of their own, which was why they were asking to use our facility. Of course, most of them were living together and had been for quite some time. In a couple of cases, there were children involved. Having the chance to speak with them was an opportunity to do some teaching with regard to their own spiritual life and spiritual condition and to direct them toward putting their marriage on a Christian foundation. I never got a negative response to that, in fact, had several couples who made re-dedications and two couples actually began attending church as a result of their contact with us.
There probably would be circumstances under which I would decline to perform a wedding, and I believe that I am entitled to my own convictions, regardless of the fact that I am ordained.