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When should a former pastor stop coming back to a former church to be part of funerals? I ask the question because of a current interim situation. What has been your experience as a former pastor? As a layperson? As a retired minister? As an interim minister?

As a pastor I have never thought twice about a family inviting a former pastor to conduct a funeral, and in fact welcome it if they so desire. As a former pastor I have never thought anything wrong with conducting a funeral of a former member. I'd say in most of my own experiences with this (from both directions, as pastor & former pastor) the family usually invites both to share the duties anyway.

I wish, Dave, that there was an accepted book of pastoral ethics for SBC pastors and churches. On many occasions I would have been helped by a funeral policy like Timothy advocated. Most of the time, funerals I did at a former pastorate were shared with the current pastor. I'd insist on "assisting" him, although we both knew it was a little scripted tapdance. Almost always my predecessors were very sensitive when returning to their former church, my current church, to do funerals. A few times I got stiffed...but that's life as an SBC pastor.

I'm curious what the pastor handbooks used these days say about this.

Since I retired and stayed in the community where I pastored for 15 years, I will assist the current pastor on an occasional funeral. I have a good relationship with the current pastor so it's no big deal. We can talk frankly if necessary. I don't do weddings...too much stress.

I have now lived in the community where I last served as a pastor for sixteen years. I have made it my policy to only assist when invited by or through the current pastor and only when sharing in my former church. What I am dealing with in my current interim is a former pastor, two back, who lives two and a half hours away and has now come back for two funerals since I arrived. What I am learning is that he has never let go of the church people, despite the fact that he has now been gone for more than a decade. He is making five hour round-trips to cultivate this situation and has done two funerals in the past three and one-half weeks. No wonder the last pastor never became part of the congregation's life.

As for books about ministerial ethics, I'm not aware of anything in current use. I too would be interested in what is being taught, but I know this individual knows better than he is doing in this. Indeed, he gets notified by church members before the current pastor hears of situations of need. He is also trained as an intentional interim where the training addresses this specifically.

Don't know what might be done on the guy who likes to come back. What approach do you think would be best as their interim?

I like Banks approach, and I personally have no problem with a former pastor assisting in a memorial service. Displacing the current pastor, however, and leaving that person to stand or sit in the crowd is where I see a real violation. As funerals move more and more from the church to the funeral home, we as ministers are able to exercise less and less control and are often handed a sheet with the wishes of the family. Fewer funerals are linked to the church's ministry, but when they are, we need to take care how we treat them.

I understand one of our Bishops said, “Always offer for the former pastor to come back. Former pastor, always refuse.”

While having a denominational set of rules isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t always like every rule in my denomination, this is one of those places where I like there being rules about one pastor interfering with another pastor’s work. Retired pastors who do some of the things Dave has said above in the UMC get reported to their Superintented and it gets squashed pretty quickly. The denominational leader can be the heavy and take the burden off the pastor.

How you put a stop to this’s when pastors are autonomous and congregations are as well, I have no idea. But it caused me a lot of trouble in my last Baptist congregation when the former pastor who served 20+ years was invited to nearly every funeral I ever did. He also routinely interfered in my pastorate. But those are stories for other times.

Apart from seminary teaching, ministerial ethics books, and denominational rules, what Bible verses/principles teach that pastors should have neither concern for nor dealings with their former flocks?

I'm glad that when Fremont Baptist celebrated the last special Sunday of this, our 125th year, Paul Poehlman, who baptized me in 1991 and who retired from our pulpit and from pastoral ministry in about 2001, was both able and welcome to preach. He preached on Romans 16, the first section on Personal greetings, on female deacons and on Paul's relatives who were in Christ before him, etc. Very interesting stuff.

Like much that relates to ecclesiology, pastoral ethics concerning a former church is not addressed in the NT. It might simplify things if some authority could declare that no pastor will return to a former church. The principle that best fits ethical baptists is that a church should have only one pastor at a time and a former pastor must be both sensitive and deferential to his successor. Heck, I live where I pastored for 15 years and still have many relationships but it is clear to the new pastor that he is the pastor now, same for the members.

I guess there is an applicable scripture for this: "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to do his good pleasure." In other words, where the Bible is silent, we are left to work out how the biblical principles may apply.