Ed: Please don't take Tim's remarks so personally. I don't see anywhere in his statement that his remarks are aimed at YOU. He is simply making a statement about his own practice and policy that is so important when any pastor is serving at a church in an area where active duty or veteran military are likely to be present. I respect and admire what he has to say. I have had pastors who never served themselves (remember, I am a Navy veteran of the Vietnam era) and just did not get why some of the things they said or did not do were so hurtful to those of us who served our country in the military. Our training and experiences make us different than civilians in many ways for the rest of our lives.
There is a Baptist church in Seattle that is very historic. Beautiful old sanctuary with stained glass windows that date back to the 1920's. Even though my parents were not believers- at least not that they talked about, I was taught from an early age that a church sanctuary, like a graveyard, were sacred spaces, where voices were hushed, and it was not a place to play or be disrespectful to those who were there for quiet prayer. The first time I was in this church, I noticed several memorial windows in the sanctuary for sons of the congregation died in battle in WWI. This to me made the room more than another church, but a memorial to those who gave their all. A church leader has several teen-age and older children who has always permitted his children to run wild around the building and often play games- including running around with model war planes playing "Top Gun" which was very disturbing to me, particularly since my son was serving in a war zone on the deck of an aircraft carrier at the time. I don't know how many times I tried to explain that I felt that behavior inappropriate and very upsetting to me, but it never seemed to make an impression on the parents. I finally had to leave that church and dread going back, because I no longer feel safe there. I have post traumatic stress and children running around making air combat noises gets very nerve wracking for me when I have been looking forward to a time of quiet meditation and prayer and a relief of stress built up during the week.
Don't despair if your job and your rewards are few, remember that the mighty oak was once a nut like you!